Well, it’s long and the prose is overblown. But I don’t think it’s meant to be either.
That said, this story is also damn compelling. I HAD to finish it, despite laughing out loud at the writing.
I’m sure that plenty of readers will be hanging out for the final instalment of this series, but I won’t be one of them. While I can see how other readers might find it appealing, this style of writing is not for me.